


Button

by InsomniacPenguins



Series: Mind Field [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: As in theres hardly any details, Established Friendship, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, So i put it over here instead, This is just gavin thinking tbh, between connor and gavin initially, i couldnt fit this into my other fic, like none
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 11:23:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15387699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsomniacPenguins/pseuds/InsomniacPenguins
Summary: //rewritten on 9/12 bc i hate myself//All he did was think about the piece of shit. When he was alone, staring up at the yellowed ceiling of his apartment. When he was on date night with T, at the shitty Italian restaurant downtown. When he was questioning witnesses, or watching Connor over his desk not-so-subtly, or when he was driving home-How could he be so lovestruck? How could Connor make him feel all these things when he lost his chance with him a long time ago with everything that's happened between them in the past?





	Button

**Author's Note:**

> i've been focusing on rewriting ALL of my fics bc i've been dissatisfied with the general quality as i've been improving.
> 
> this song instantly makes me think of convin https://youtu.be/OANPpN-mQ4Q
> 
> Connor and Gavin live in the same apartment building.

Gavin'd considered himself to be a tame person. Sure, his temper got out of hand sometimes, or maybe he occasionally said things he would regret, but he couldn't help but pay attention to every little thing the fucking android did.

 

The way his smile always seemed to be so genuine, gentle, and just a little awkward. The way he could make his chest warm and bubbly from across the precinct if he spoke just a little too loud. When he would cock his head to the side if he needed more explanation.

 

It was unbearable.

 

Gavin took another long inhale from his cigarette, legs dangling over the edge of the fire escape of his apartment building. 

 

All he did was think about the piece of shit. When he was alone, staring up at the yellowed ceiling of his apartment. When he was on date night with T, at the shitty Italian restaurant downtown. When he was questioning witnesses, or watching Connor over his desk not-so-subtly, or when he was driving home-

 

How could he be so lovestruck? How could Connor make him feel all these things when he lost his chance with him a long time ago with everything that's happened between them in the past?

 

He exhaled smoke and sighed condensation into chilly air. Even now, he was still thinking of him. Even now, with the events of the week weighing him down. Even now, when he came to Gavin's apartment just a week ago. 

 

It wasn’t all that surprising, if he was being honest. The fucker had hung out with him and Tina more times than he could probably count. But, it wasn't like being at the precinct.  _ He _ wasn't acting like he usually did when he was at the precinct.

 

No facade. 

_ Gavin let him in. _

 

The first thing that caught Connor's attention when he entered Gavin's apartment was the plastic crate full of old tapes and records. It was… Cute, in a way. How those eyes that could shake even mountains brightened. How his lips formed into a smile that made his chest flutter. How he was so  _ human _ .

 

He spent so much of his focus sorting through old vinyl covers and clear plastic casings that he didn't even bother looking his way. Not like Gavin was arguing, he was so alive in his innocent fascination and naivety. He kept the image tucked away for now; Somewhere deep in the recesses of his mind that was labelled  _ ‘Things He’d Think About When he Couldn't Fall Asleep.’ _

 

Eventually curiosity tugged on the android, and he asked if Gavin had a phonograph (he did). In his bed, they lay, listening to music from ‘back in his day’. In his bed, they spoke, Connor questioning him about his past, about his love life, about the people he was interested in. 

_ You, you, you. _

 

Connor expressed the desire to feel love. True, genuine, romantic love. It was a stupid move of Gavin to think he could show him with a good aftermath.

 

No, he shouldn’t’ve told Connor anything. He should’ve just left it at that.

 

He made love to Connor that night. Made sure to be as gentle and communicative as possible. 

And he knew he loved it.

 

When they were , he sat at the edge of the bed, smoking, while enjoying the gentle conversation. A light blue blush along Connor’s features as he kept his gaze hidden more often than not, obviously shy about the whole ordeal. He couldn’t help the harder observations he made, his attention turning to even the most minute new detail. Connor didn’t know just how beautiful he really was. 

 

They fell asleep later, curled up with each other, and the next morning Gavin was only met with cold pillow and blankets, a body too little for his own comfort.

 

He left without even saying goodbye.

 

The next three days he sat at his windowsill every morning, watching Connor’s car turn into the busy streets below and disappearing brick fence that surrounded the apartment complex. Left alone, he wanted to be with him, in that car, listening to shitty pop and drinking day old coffee he never bothered to get out of his mug.

 

And to make himself feel even shittier about it, he reached under his bed when he was trying to find the remote to his tv (God himself only knew where that fucker was.), and found a button instead. Thread cut loose, cast aside, left, and forgotten. Something he could feel on a spiritual level. Still, it didn’t take even a beat for Gavin to know who this belonged to. It probably fell off his suit when it was torn off his shoulders and tossed away when they were undressing each other.

 

Maybe he’d call and ask if Connor’d want it. A shitty excuse, but hey, an excuse is an excuse. Eventually he caved after sitting with Connor’s contact pulled up on his phone for 15 minutes of course. 

 

Big fucking mistake, this was the first thing that broke his heart. 

 

Someone else answered after a few rings. “Call back later,” the voice told him.

 

“Where’s Connor?”

 

“He’s sleeping.”

 

The second thing that broke his heart was when he rolled into the parking lot and watched as Connor was entered the building with another man. Uncomfortably close for his liking.

 

Gavin tightened his lips into a thin frown as he thought about the week up till now. Legs dangling in the air, hanging over the edge of the fire escape. He drew another huff of smoke and exhaled into the morning air as he rest his forehead against cold metal and watched cars passing in the distance. Watched lights blinking in the skyline of Detroit. 

 

Why did he always get the short end of the stick?

Why was it him that had to go and fall in love with someone that wouldn’t love him back?

 

He reached into his jacket after another drag of his cigarette, and pulled the button he found under his bed out, rolling it in his palm with his thumb.  _ Fuck, he needed to let go. _

 

A tear made it's way down his cheek and he pressed the blunt of the cigarette into the metal railing before flicking it over the edge, watching it fall to the alley below. Now for his next order of business…

 

He licked his lips and outstretched his hand, arm resting on the railing, button between his fingers.  _ He needed to fucking let go. _

 

… He tried so hard, he really did, but he couldn't bring himself to drop the button into the alley. To  _ let go _ . He tucked it back into his jacket pocket, and sighed into the cold air of Detroit once more.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, button gives me very convin vibes. 
> 
> rip gavin btw
> 
> my dbh blog is claw-vase @ Tumblr i'd love some friends  
> 


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